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Iron Crotch Truck Pull 2005

Iron Crotch Truck Pull 2005

by Gene Ching

A friend of mine recently commented, “Don’t know why a guy getting kicked in the nuts is funny. Looks very painful to me.” She’s a woman commentator, obviously. And she’s right. As any guy knows, few things are as painful as a boot to the goods. On the flip side, anyone who’s actually managed to deliver such a blow in a real fight will attest that nothing is quite so rewarding. Trust me on this. I got the chance to kick a man repeatedly in the crotch. Believe it or not, it was part of my job here at Kung Fu Tai Chi. It’s funny to think about now, but at the time, it was nothing short of awe inspiring.

On the morning of November 22nd, 2005, Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng demonstrated his most extraordinary skill at Iron Crotch, right here in our office parking lot. It was at the behest of some documentary filmmakers from the UK. They were working on a three-part series titled PENIS ENVY; Grandmaster Tu will appear in the episode titled “BUILDING THE PERFECT PENIS”. Our parking lot audience was small, just the filmmakers, our magazine crew, some of Tu’s students and Tiger Claw staff, plus a few lucky Tiger Claw customers who happened to be picking up orders. The truck pull made the headlines of six of our local newspapers, several of which ran it on the front page.

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Iron Crotch demonstrations are always eye-popping. Grandmaster Tu began by doing some self stimulation and qigong. He said he needed assistance to warm up and asked me to tug on him. I balked at that request, trying to get clarification. Then he asked me to kick him. OK, that I could do. I started light and struck harder with each successive kick. It’s always awkward when some one asks you to kick them in the balls, especially when it’s someone you know. Trust me on this one too. I delivered just over a half dozen direct kicks to his genitals. Ultimately, I didn’t kick as hard as I could have, but about half of the kicks were good solid shots and any of them would have brought down an ordinary man, given the target area. Contrary to common belief, Tu did not retract his genitals into his body. Quite the opposite, they were all hanging out. After all, it’s what he was going to use to tow a 16′ Budget Rental Truck (Senior Graphic Designer Patrick Lugo thought we should have rented from BIG 4 RENTS, but I’m the only other one in the office who understood why). Nevertheless, a Budget 16-footer has an empty weight of 8100 lbs. It took several guys just to push it into position.

Grandmaster Tu performed two truck pulls. For the first one, he tied off both the shaft of his penis and his testicles. For the second one, he tied off only his testicles. He said he could have used only the shaft of his penis too, but that required him to be more fully engorged with qi, and that doesn’t look so good, he said. Patrick and I assisted by providing leverage, but Tu really only needed us for that second pull. That being said, we were both right next to him. We both saw everything, not that we were staring or anything. We’ll both testify about Tu’s testicles. There was no fakery. It was genuine all the way.

Now, the testicle tow was a new one. I’ve seen Grandmaster Tu perform his Iron Penis Truck Pull before. He did one for our 10 Year Anniversary Gala Benefit, but I’ve never seen him use his testicles alone. Grandmaster Tu said he was feeling good and wanted to try it. Maybe it was my qi-filled kicks. Now in my mind, Tu’s two-testicle truck tow trick totally defies the laws of physics and anatomy. I studied Anatomy and Physiology in college. I’ve done cadaver work and seen what’s really inside a man’s sack. There’s not much to the scrotum, just skin, nerves and gonads. How can a man possibly tow an 8100 lbs truck with that? As I was shaking my head in disbelief, Grandmaster Tu’s wife, Sandy, flashed a sly grin at me and said “That could be you. Just ten or fifteen minutes a day.” I think my scientific skepticism will forever bar me from such a stunt. As my friend said, “Looks very painful to me.”

I’ve known Grandmaster Tu for several years now, ever since I penned the first English story on him in our Nov/Dec 2001 issue. That story was plagiarized by the Weekly World News in their November 2003 issue; the cover with Saddam and Osama’s shaved ape baby. I was very disappointed about not getting credit for that since I would have loved to have added the Weekly World News to my body of published work. But that was only the beginning of what has become a lot of research for me, especially considering the fact that I’m not a student of Grandmaster Tu.

10 year PosterIn 2002, Grandmaster Tu was very gracious about donating his time and energy to our Gala Benefit; his Iron Crotch Truck Pull is quite the crowd pleaser in ourcommemorative DVD. Later that year, Dr. Konstantin Korotkov used GDV camera technology to measure Tu’s energy levels and produced some startling results. We ran a cover story on Grandmaster Tu for our Mar/Apr 2003 issue. We also worked on translating Grandmaster Tu’s instructional videos into English along with bringing some of his other goodies westward, in particular his ultimate qigong tool, the Long Life Health Bar.. We’ve also helped him build a website

I’ve done a few interviews about him for other news media, since he doesn’t speak English. Morning shock jock DJs really like to talk about it. In fact, we received several more requests after Tu’s truck pull made the headlines. Penthouse even interviewed me for their April 2005 issue. I’m hoping Howard Stern gets word soon.

I must say is that it’s been an honor to work with a master of his caliber and I hope to continue to do so. Anytime he needs someone to kick him in the balls, I’m so there. Of course, that offer goes for pretty much anyone. “That could be you. Just ten or fifteen minutes a day.

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